Hinrich Needs the Heimlich

As the Bulls painfully sleepwalked through last season's nightmare, I couldn't help but notice how many fingers were pointed at Hinrich's subpar performances. Clearly, the New York Knicks style of play demonstrated by Larry Hughes and Ben Gordon were the reasons for the biggest letdown since Brent Barry and John Starks were the Bulls' guards after the Jordan era. Well, playing half the season without a coach...or a man at the head coach position...didn't help, but Hinrich? And then you have bloggers and podcasters saying that Hinrich has some sort of forceshield around him that protects him from blame when he deserves it? I had to get to the bottom of it before Paxson felt some sort of public popular pressure to trade the best Bull ever (see link on the right).

Let's remember who the real Kirk Hinrich is:

- Roy Williams once said that when Kirk said he was going to lock someone down, it meant to gameplan a defense for the other four players because Kirk was going to do what he said (think Champ Bailey on the Broncos defense).
- pestered Ray Allen to shoot below 35% consistently when playing Seattle and caused one of the game's better shooters to cry more than the day he found out that LaLa was cheating on him
- only rookie in the heralded class of 2003 to record a triple double
- second team defense when he should have been all NBA History defensive team
- 80+% free throw shooter but should be 90% if it weren't for the tight UC rims (ask Jordan)
- A baller who cares more about his game than his hair...or at least makes it seem that way
- has received the most technical fouls on the roster, meaning he is feisty, competetive, and unwilling to back down to shallow referrees who call fouls on him for his lack of social skills.
- the best 3 point shooter ever as long as he doesn't have to do everything for Ben Gordon such as guard both guards, run around to create space that Ben disrupts on offense, and spot Ben Gordon on all his bicep curls.
- drafted as high as in the 3rd round of some fantasy basketball leagues around the nation

So what happened last year? Why was he pretty much none of the above when he was so consistent for the three years before last? It doesn't make sense that a basketball player would forget how to shoot, or get out of shape that much, or lose a step in what is supposed to be the prime of his career. So after comparing the offseason from his best year (2006-07) and worst year (2007-08), it became clear that the biggest difference was in the company he kept...please read on. Now before I continue, I am astonished that no other Bulls writer came across this fact...I'm calling this a fact, no opinion, no room for arguments, no room for your comments...that no podcaster could realize this. Did they really believe that Hinrich at the age of 26-27 would fall apart this bad, although playing with Ben Gordon and Larry Hughes could do that to anyone? I hope they are reading so they stop with this trade Hinrich propoganda nonsense.

Two summers ago, Kirk was representing the US team and practicing with Lebron, Dwayne, Michael Redd, Carmelo (unfortanately another BG, Hughes type), and other allstars. Two summers ago, Kirk was highlighted in multiple Tribune articles as getting stronger and quicker to improve his defense and late game fatigue...I'm pretty sure there was a picture of him pulling a car uphill on some street of a Chicago suburb with Ron Adams at his side. One year ago, Kirk was getting married, to Jill, honeymooning in Hawaii. There were zero articles about his preparation before a season where expectations were the NBA finals. Practicing with LBJ...eating pig in Hawaii. Staying in front of Dwayne Wade...staying in front of his wife. Pulling tanks uphill...taking the trash out. Did anyone notice how Kirk looked like the energy was sucked out of him? The obvious thing to do would be to blame Ben Gordon for making the game not fun for Kirk, but Ben's been around for a few years and it never seemed to bother Kirk before. After the marriage, my guess is that Hinrich's priorities shifted just a little bit. It probably used to be 80% lead the Bulls to the finals versus 20% spend time with the wife. Last year...30% fulfill lofty expecatations, 70% don't get yelled at by the wife.

I can't find a picture of the woman, but I found some disturbing comments saying that Jill is ugly and that she doesn't put out. Now I have no idea why I just wrote that or what that has to do with his failure to fulfill his destiny to resurrect the franchise, but it sounds like good investigative material. The summer is gone, the Bulls are 0-2 in the preseason, and I have yet to read one article on how hard Hinrich worked on his quads and shooting stroke. Bottom line, if this becomes a repeat of last year, don't trade Hinrich...just thrust out the wife he's choking on.