One More Year of "Air Gordon"

On Wednesday, October 1 2008, the Bulls and Ben Gordon agreed to a 1 year 6.4 million dollar deal as a restricted free agent which will enable the guard to become an unrestricted free agent next summer. What this means to Bulls fans is one last year (hopefully) of "Air Gordon"...the one who tries to cross over defenders, dish out no look assists, steal like a thief, takes it strong to the rim, lead the fast break and ultimately wonders why his "Airness" is asked to come off the bench behind Nocioni and Thabo.

I looked through numerous Google searches to find the article where Ben became Air Gordon or Ben Jordan. The only article I came up with was from the Sun Times that insists that Bulls fans began whispering these nicknames. Shame on you...actually, shame on me. I was the ringleader of the Michael Jordan comparisons. I was the one who tivo'd the game winner over Marty Collins and played it repeatedly over and over again, forcing my roommate to watch it when he could care less about the Bulls. What were we thinking?

That leads me to another bizarre situation. Normally, I find myself getting frustrated with players that don't execute the basic fundamentals of team basketball: swinging the ball, setting a proper pick, spacing on the floor, taking smart shots. Not with Ben. Here are common blasphemies blurted during a Bulls game.

"Why the hell did you pass that ball? Shoot the damn ball! If you ever pass again in your career, I will destroy you!"

"Another reaching foul? Will you stop trying to play defense? Just let your man go!"

"Just shoot it right now...you're five feet behind the 3 point line, you're open, just shoot."

"Don't use the pick, just take your man one on one, this isn't a team game, god damn it!"

"Don't pay attention to the team huddle. It's simple, go get the ball and shoot it. Stop trying to be a part of an organized play!"

Sports fans at bars watching alongside me don't know how to respond to my wild outbursts. Throughout the game they realize I know what I'm talking about with my basketball knowledge, but as soon as they hear my advice to Ben that makes all basketball Gods cringe, they freeze. Then all of a sudden I've lost any friends I've made at the bar and all thanks to Gordon, I am alone with three gulps left of my "Hinriken" and another Bulls meltdown.

Ben Gordon can make this year a success if he has right goals in mind. Right now, this is his list of goals.

1 - Get to the free throw line as much as Kobe
2 - Become an allstar
3 - Average one dunk over tallest opponent per game
4 - Average most minutes on team

If becoming an allstar means doing things other than shooting threes, I pray this never happens for him. Here are the goals he should have in mind.

1- Make most 3 pointers in nba regular season history
2- Beat Hodges with most 3 point contest wins in franchise history
3- Shoot more threes than 2 point shots
4- Extend range to 30 ft.

And that's it! That's how he can help himself, the Bulls, Hinrich, Vinny, Paxson, and most importantly, me. No more playmaking, ball handling, slipping on the floor from trying drive past his man, no more drawing contact and missing layups, botched pick and rolls, swinging the ball to the last person on earth you'd want to shoot a jumer (Noah, Thomas, Gray), dreaming of being announced last in starting lineups...none of that. Just shoot threes, over double teams, triple teams, twenty seconds left on the shot clock...just shoot.

That's why it's so hard for coaches to coach the guy. They find themselves on the verge of telling him to do something that you are taught to never do. Now that it's cemented that he's around for one more year and there's no pressure to appease him for a long term deal, Vinny is in a position to handle Ben the proper way. Bring him off the bench for 25 minutes and tell him to do everything that a smart basketball player would never, ever do. Here's hoping that I'll have my last year of lonely beers watching Ben Jordan.