Monday, October 27, 2008

Questions Loom Over Season Opener

1. Who starts for the Bulls?
2. Who should start for the Bulls?
3. Does Hinrich love basketball anymore?
4. Who taught Larry Hughes how to play basketball?
5. Who taught Ben Gordon how to play basketball?
6. When will Noce realize that Europe is where he and his family belong?
7. Is Tyrus Thomas really a double double?
8. How many games before Thabo averages 30 minutes a game?
9. Is Derrick Rose better than Michael Beasley?
10. Does Vinny have any idea what his vision is?
11. How long does it take Vinny to order at a restaurant?
12. Why was Noah a lottery pick?
13. Is the beard more important to Drew Gooden than basketball?
14. Will Luol stop pretending he's a post player?
15. Will the Bulls win more than 30 games this year?
16. Why does Larry Hughes have a job in this economy?
17. Why does Ben Gordon have a job in this economy?
18. If Derrick Rose plays 30 minutes and Thabo plays 30 minutes, how do you split 36 minutes between Hinrich, Gordon, and Hughes?
19. If the season starts tomorrow, why can't I order the NBA league pass tonight on Comcast and instead have to wait until tomorrow when it is too late to dvr the game before I go to work?
20. Can we borrow Skiles tomorrow just for one minute to cut Larry Hughes and alienate him from the team?


After flirting with greatness for 3 straight seasons, this year's Bulls are down to their last chance to regain Chicago's admiration for a team that used to be selfless, naive, hard-nosed, defensive, opportunistic, energetic, and whatever positive adjective in the English language. It is so easy to forget that the core of those up and coming rosters are still here today: Kirk Hinrich, Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, and Andres Nocioni. Actually, I know why it's easy...because they don't exist anymore. Kirk is slow, married, uncoordinated. Luol isn't the greatest midrange jumpshooter no longer and is obsessed with being a threat inside. Ben isn't the free shooting microwave but trying to train to be an actual basketball player. Nocioni shoots threes and gets 25% of his charges called now. So with that being said, I take that back...the core of those Bulls are long gone and this year it starts all over again. Bulls fans should just write off the last four seasons and reset their minds to viewing this season as a whole new rebuilding era. Win 30 games, celebrate. Win a road game, take a shot. Win a game on the circus trip, play an extra round of golf. Simply put, with so many questions marks this year, winning should not be an expectation.

I'm looking forward to the first year of Bunch of Bulls, honestly, as I begin somewhat of a journal of what could be the first steps to something special. Imagine if this site began with Hinrich's rookie year...it would be done by now. But I get to start with Derrick Rose's first game, Tyrus Thomas coming into his own, the realization of Thabo being the second coming of Pippen. The exodus of Ben Gordon. I'm tired of naming my fantasy basketball teams "Trade BG" by the way, so I would be most thankful if this is the last year of Ben's "progression"...please regress, Ben. There's so much to comment on, that I'm at a loss of words at times, so it will be refreshing to let this season unfold and experience it with Bulls fans and NBA fans all over, after each game, each growing pain.

Here is some analysis for the Bulls 2008-09...at the end of the year, you will see that the Bulls would be better off if I ran the team.

Thabo Sefolosha - Surprisingly, many of you are still not sold on Thabo...I guess his 2 points, 1 rebound, and 1 assist in 16 minutes didn't convince you? His mid range shot is almost as consistent as Luol's in Luol's 1st and 2nd year. Those two years I had heated discussions that Luol had a better 18 footer than Kobe. Well this year it's Thabo and I can't wait to have that conversation again...like tomorrow when he hits shot after shot against Redd. He actually has much better range on the shot than Luol. He dribbles better than Luol and can shut down any 2 guard in the league. Luol is pretty much the poor man's version of Thabo.

Derrick Rose - Already the quickest and fastest player in the NBA. Chris Paul actually is the most comparable player to Rose, with the way he shakes on the pick and roll and hits acrobatic unorthodox shots that Ben Gordon used to make. He is ready now, treat him like we treated Jay Williams' rookie year...don't make him earn it...just give it to him. Rookie of the Year is guaranteed, please email me if you want to wager.

Tyrus Thomas - Is not the real deal, but will put up real deal numbers. His basketball IQ will always be bad, that's something you don't develop...ask Ben. Or don't because he will think you can. If he plays over 30 minutes a game, you should expect him to lead the league in blocks. I expect to get nervous any time he is around the ball on offense still and I don't see that changing maybe ever.

Drew Gooden - Are you sure that wasn't Boozer vs. Boozer last weekend? He seems to be one of the strongest players in the league, has a dependable pick and pop shot, can rebound with the best of them, and has above average post moves. Stop saying the Bulls need a post presence because you don't need much more than what Drew can do down low. I've heard all the head case issues he's had in the past, but I want to see it to believe it. Mental mistakes is one thing I'll be watching for. But other than that, I don't know why Boozer would have a better year than Gooden.

Larry Hughes - Tim Thomas. Tim Thomas. Larry Hughes. Cut him, trade him, send him to the d-league, make up injuries, force him to have season ending surgery on his shoulder...he must go.

Kirk Hinrich - From watching some of the preseason, Kirk seems to be everything he was last year--a step behind, bored, a loner, and look like he hasn't shot a basketball for three months. Although seeing him push Richard Jefferson brings back memories of when he had some balls and had a chip on his shoulder (run ins with Ray Allen, Posey, Richard Jefferson...), maybe he does care, but I wouldn't bet on it. And his wife actually isn't ugly.

Ben Gordon - Will try to do too much playmaking instead of standing behind the three point line and calling for the ball like Brian Mcknight did when I saw him play basketball at the gym. He was literally standing at the three point line and clapping his hands saying "ball ball ball!" and scowl when his teammates didn't get him the ball. Obviously, Mcknight's defense extended to the other three point line if he ever did cross the half court line. If Ben does not do this, he is doomed and is worthless. If he does this, then rack him up for his 2nd of ten Sixth Man of the Year awards to come.

The starting five should be:
PG Derrick Rose
SG Thabo Sefolosha
SF Luol Deng
PF Tyrus Thomas
C Aaron Gray

The finishing five should be:
PG Derrick Rose
SG Ben Gordon
SF Thabo Sefolosha
PF Drew Gooden
C Joakim Noah

If we start and end this way, 40 wins is guaranteed. I was the biggest Vinny fan after he picked up Joakim's random dinner tab in the city, but with his indecisiveness, I wonder if anybody respects him in the organization anymore. Didn't he have enough tape to study his players and formulate some sort of vision for this team? Look, I did it with no tape and in twenty seconds. The two lineups I have above are what Vinny should have. If it doesn't work, then tinker with it. But you have to have some sort of vision and Vinny has none. Scott Skiles for President. Bulls win, Rose is valuable in his debut, Thabo's defense comes through in the 4th, Ben Gordon seals the win in the 4th, and Hinrich is the first one out of the locker rooms to go home to Jill after forgetting what the hell just happened in the first game. Finally, however, we'll get some answers.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Hinrich Needs the Heimlich

As the Bulls painfully sleepwalked through last season's nightmare, I couldn't help but notice how many fingers were pointed at Hinrich's subpar performances. Clearly, the New York Knicks style of play demonstrated by Larry Hughes and Ben Gordon were the reasons for the biggest letdown since Brent Barry and John Starks were the Bulls' guards after the Jordan era. Well, playing half the season without a coach...or a man at the head coach position...didn't help, but Hinrich? And then you have bloggers and podcasters saying that Hinrich has some sort of forceshield around him that protects him from blame when he deserves it? I had to get to the bottom of it before Paxson felt some sort of public popular pressure to trade the best Bull ever (see link on the right).

Let's remember who the real Kirk Hinrich is:

- Roy Williams once said that when Kirk said he was going to lock someone down, it meant to gameplan a defense for the other four players because Kirk was going to do what he said (think Champ Bailey on the Broncos defense).
- pestered Ray Allen to shoot below 35% consistently when playing Seattle and caused one of the game's better shooters to cry more than the day he found out that LaLa was cheating on him
- only rookie in the heralded class of 2003 to record a triple double
- second team defense when he should have been all NBA History defensive team
- 80+% free throw shooter but should be 90% if it weren't for the tight UC rims (ask Jordan)
- A baller who cares more about his game than his hair...or at least makes it seem that way
- has received the most technical fouls on the roster, meaning he is feisty, competetive, and unwilling to back down to shallow referrees who call fouls on him for his lack of social skills.
- the best 3 point shooter ever as long as he doesn't have to do everything for Ben Gordon such as guard both guards, run around to create space that Ben disrupts on offense, and spot Ben Gordon on all his bicep curls.
- drafted as high as in the 3rd round of some fantasy basketball leagues around the nation

So what happened last year? Why was he pretty much none of the above when he was so consistent for the three years before last? It doesn't make sense that a basketball player would forget how to shoot, or get out of shape that much, or lose a step in what is supposed to be the prime of his career. So after comparing the offseason from his best year (2006-07) and worst year (2007-08), it became clear that the biggest difference was in the company he kept...please read on. Now before I continue, I am astonished that no other Bulls writer came across this fact...I'm calling this a fact, no opinion, no room for arguments, no room for your comments...that no podcaster could realize this. Did they really believe that Hinrich at the age of 26-27 would fall apart this bad, although playing with Ben Gordon and Larry Hughes could do that to anyone? I hope they are reading so they stop with this trade Hinrich propoganda nonsense.

Two summers ago, Kirk was representing the US team and practicing with Lebron, Dwayne, Michael Redd, Carmelo (unfortanately another BG, Hughes type), and other allstars. Two summers ago, Kirk was highlighted in multiple Tribune articles as getting stronger and quicker to improve his defense and late game fatigue...I'm pretty sure there was a picture of him pulling a car uphill on some street of a Chicago suburb with Ron Adams at his side. One year ago, Kirk was getting married, to Jill, honeymooning in Hawaii. There were zero articles about his preparation before a season where expectations were the NBA finals. Practicing with LBJ...eating pig in Hawaii. Staying in front of Dwayne Wade...staying in front of his wife. Pulling tanks uphill...taking the trash out. Did anyone notice how Kirk looked like the energy was sucked out of him? The obvious thing to do would be to blame Ben Gordon for making the game not fun for Kirk, but Ben's been around for a few years and it never seemed to bother Kirk before. After the marriage, my guess is that Hinrich's priorities shifted just a little bit. It probably used to be 80% lead the Bulls to the finals versus 20% spend time with the wife. Last year...30% fulfill lofty expecatations, 70% don't get yelled at by the wife.

I can't find a picture of the woman, but I found some disturbing comments saying that Jill is ugly and that she doesn't put out. Now I have no idea why I just wrote that or what that has to do with his failure to fulfill his destiny to resurrect the franchise, but it sounds like good investigative material. The summer is gone, the Bulls are 0-2 in the preseason, and I have yet to read one article on how hard Hinrich worked on his quads and shooting stroke. Bottom line, if this becomes a repeat of last year, don't trade Hinrich...just thrust out the wife he's choking on.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

One More Year of "Air Gordon"

On Wednesday, October 1 2008, the Bulls and Ben Gordon agreed to a 1 year 6.4 million dollar deal as a restricted free agent which will enable the guard to become an unrestricted free agent next summer. What this means to Bulls fans is one last year (hopefully) of "Air Gordon"...the one who tries to cross over defenders, dish out no look assists, steal like a thief, takes it strong to the rim, lead the fast break and ultimately wonders why his "Airness" is asked to come off the bench behind Nocioni and Thabo.

I looked through numerous Google searches to find the article where Ben became Air Gordon or Ben Jordan. The only article I came up with was from the Sun Times that insists that Bulls fans began whispering these nicknames. Shame on you...actually, shame on me. I was the ringleader of the Michael Jordan comparisons. I was the one who tivo'd the game winner over Marty Collins and played it repeatedly over and over again, forcing my roommate to watch it when he could care less about the Bulls. What were we thinking?

That leads me to another bizarre situation. Normally, I find myself getting frustrated with players that don't execute the basic fundamentals of team basketball: swinging the ball, setting a proper pick, spacing on the floor, taking smart shots. Not with Ben. Here are common blasphemies blurted during a Bulls game.

"Why the hell did you pass that ball? Shoot the damn ball! If you ever pass again in your career, I will destroy you!"

"Another reaching foul? Will you stop trying to play defense? Just let your man go!"

"Just shoot it right now...you're five feet behind the 3 point line, you're open, just shoot."

"Don't use the pick, just take your man one on one, this isn't a team game, god damn it!"

"Don't pay attention to the team huddle. It's simple, go get the ball and shoot it. Stop trying to be a part of an organized play!"

Sports fans at bars watching alongside me don't know how to respond to my wild outbursts. Throughout the game they realize I know what I'm talking about with my basketball knowledge, but as soon as they hear my advice to Ben that makes all basketball Gods cringe, they freeze. Then all of a sudden I've lost any friends I've made at the bar and all thanks to Gordon, I am alone with three gulps left of my "Hinriken" and another Bulls meltdown.

Ben Gordon can make this year a success if he has right goals in mind. Right now, this is his list of goals.

1 - Get to the free throw line as much as Kobe

2 - Become an allstar
3 - Average one dunk over tallest opponent per game
4 - Average most minutes on team

If becoming an allstar means doing things other than shooting threes, I pray this never happens for him. Here are the goals he should have in mind.

1- Make most 3 pointers in nba regular season history
2- Beat Hodges with most 3 point contest wins in franchise history
3- Shoot more threes than 2 point shots
4- Extend range to 30 ft.

And that's it! That's how he can help himself, the Bulls, Hinrich, Vinny, Paxson, and most importantly, me. No more playmaking, ball handling, slipping on the floor from trying drive past his man, no more drawing contact and missing layups, botched pick and rolls, swinging the ball to the last person on earth you'd want to shoot a jumer (Noah, Thomas, Gray), dreaming of being announced last in starting lineups...none of that. Just shoot threes, over double teams, triple teams, twenty seconds left on the shot clock...just shoot.

That's why it's so hard for coaches to coach the guy. They find themselves on the verge of telling him to do something that you are taught to never do. Now that it's cemented that he's around for one more year and there's no pressure to appease him for a long term deal, Vinny is in a position to handle Ben the proper way. Bring him off the bench for 25 minutes and tell him to do everything that a smart basketball player would never, ever do. Here's hoping that I'll have my last year of lonely beers watching Ben Jordan.